


Star-Spangled Lovers, Or Something Like That

by Driverpicksthemooseic (Ratkinzluver33)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: And employs Clint to help her scheme, Bad Matchmaking, Bucky is totally okay with this, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Maybe a little disturbingly okay with this, Natasha Is a Good Bro, She's also a matchmaker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:43:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1991973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ratkinzluver33/pseuds/Driverpicksthemooseic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lovers in Arms, <em>it's called. It speculates on the possibility that Steven Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes were in a secret relationship.</em></p>
<p> <em>Bucky won't let it go.</em></p>
<p>OR, the one where everyone thinks Bucky and Steve were, and are, secretly gay for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Star-Spangled Lovers, Or Something Like That

**Author's Note:**

> OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY?! I just had this idea come to me, and by come to me, I mean hit me in the face at a million mph at a ridiculous hour of the morning. I had to write it. So, I did. Then this took form. I don't really know what I've just done.

When Steve finds out that modern culture has made comics, movies, books, documentaries, and more all about his life before the ice, he suggests that he and Bucky try to catch up. After all, they've become part of history now, and it's only fair that they should keep up in a conversation. Natasha gives him a nervous (or, as nervous as she can get) look, and quickly changes subjects.

Bucky, for all that he means to Steve, has a nosy streak, and seeing Natasha get shifty alights a curiosity in him that's possibly insatiable. Steve's never seen him stop before he gets answers in the past, so he assumes he's going to be seeing a lot of inaccurate and probably deeply embarrassing interpretations of their lives in the near future.

He's not wrong.

He just wasn't expecting _this._

* * *

He can handle movies that misunderstand everything that the War was about. He can certainly handle biographies.

He blushes crimson when he watches the documentary Bucky's picked out for them. He should have been suspicious when he saw the man's shit-eating grin, but he'd been far too distracted by setting up the TV to really think.

_Lovers in Arms,_  it's called. It speculates on the possibility that Steven Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes were in a secret relationship.

Bucky won't let it go.

* * *

"Folks are really invested in it, Stevie," Bucky informs him, one day, completely out of the blue. It takes a few seconds for Steve to actually realise what he's talking about. "There are fanpages on the Internet. People write erotica about it. There are cheesy, 1980's-style pornos and everything."

Natasha raises an eyebrow from across the room, where she's typing loudly on her laptop. Steve makes a choked off noise, and Bucky seems satisfied.

"We really shouldn't let 'em down, you know?" he continues. Steve wonders if he'd look ridiculous if he buried his face in the couch.

"What do you mean by that, Buck?" Steve manages, after a while of desperately fighting down a blush.

"I'm not saying we start goin' steady or anything, but we don't exactly have to deny it either." He raises his good arm at Steve's questioning expression. "Do you really want to crush the hopes of millions, Steve?"

"No," he replies, automatic, then winces.

Bucky grins. "Knew you couldn't, buddy. You're too good for that."

What has he gotten himself into?

* * *

For the next few days, Bucky leaves pages open on his laptop for Steve to find. It's a nice medley of erotic fanfiction, high-level acedemic books talking about the implications of homosexual relationships in the 40's, and blog posts talking about how much it means to them that Captain America and the Winter Soldier (something that the public has known since the fall of old SHIELD) are star-crossed, star-spangled lovers.

Bucky knows precisely how to pull at Steve's heartstrings -- by getting him emotionally invested in a romance starring himself and his closest friend, a romance that doesn't even exist.

How is this the future? How is this his life? He's just a kid from Brooklyn.

Steve sighs, resting his head in his hands. Natasha shoots him a knowing look, and holds up a bottle of Vodka that seemingly has just _appeared_  from absolutely nothing. She waves it at him temptingly, but Steve shakes his head. He can't get drunk. He wouldn't even if he could.

She shrugs, and takes a long swig from the bottle herself. Then, she goes back to swiping away at her phone.

Steve stares, pained, at the DVD cover haphazardly lying on the table. It's a romantic adaptation of the original Captain America comics converted into movie form. Bucky thought it was the best thing since sliced bread; he even shed a few tears.

Steve cried a little himself. The scene of Bucky's death was clearly the director's masterpiece, and so painstakingly done that Steve was frankly impressed at the cast's sheer devotion.

Sometimes he thinks it's too bad their tragic, blood-spattered, star-spangled love story wasn't real.

* * *

Steve's put to the test when they go out to the mall on the weekend. He and Bucky are clearly recognisable, and the stares he gets from people are a bit disconcerting. Still, he really, really needs to replace the things in his room, which he hasn't changed since SHIELD bought him the cheapest they could find. So, they soldier on.

They're in the process of buying new sheets, arguing about the colour ("Not barf green, Steve. No way."), when a group of teenagers walk past, whispering to each other and pointing in the least subtle way possible in he and Bucky's direction.

"They're buying sheets," Steve overhears. "You know, for their _shared bed._ "

They collectively make dopey, dreamy smiles.

Bucky says, louder than he should, "I can't believe you stained the sheets, _Stevie!_ Now we have to buy new ones!" He nudges Steve furiously, while winking like a madman.

Steve sighs, longsuffering. "But we're just so 'active' at night, Bucky," he deadpans. It's not very convincing, but the group bursts out giggling anyway.

When the teenagers wander off, Bucky high-fives him so hard his metal hand makes a loud _clink._

Steve cracks a smile, despite himself. It _was_  pretty funny.

* * *

"I think it's sweet," Steve declares, that evening. He hasn't been very accepting, recently, he thinks. He was embarrassed, but he's realised that the whole thing's actually both revolutionary and endearing. "It's nice that people are so into the relationship, you know? This never would have happened when we were kids."

Bucky looks at him, smiling widely. "Oh, Steve, you've finally seen the light." He rests a hand on his heart, looking dramatic. "I'm really proud of you, pal."

Steve rolls his eyes.

* * *

There's only one plate of leftovers in the fridge when they check for lunch, so he and Bucky share the last of it. It's pretty normal, something they've always done, more so when they were kids and barely had enough food, but Steve can understand how it could be interpreted as romantic. Natasha, without asking them at all, snaps a photo and uploads it quickly to Twitter. She hashtags it "#stuckyiscanonaf #believeit". Darcy Lewis retweets it within a minute.

Thor sends them a congratulations text. Lord knows how he even has a phone. Do they even get reception in Asgard?

"Cute," Bucky says, dry. Natasha shoots him a sugar sweet, entirely fake smile and says something in Russian that makes Bucky choke on his food.

* * *

They're playing racing games, which they've both fallen absolutely in love with, when Clint hangs, upside-down, from an air vent and waves.

"I just wanted to know something," Clint begins. "Since you're both super soldiers, do you have any refractory period? I mean, will I have to stay out of the vents above your room? Does it get really intense in there? Have you ever broken a bed?"

Bucky, years of sniper training and enhanced reflexes never failing him, uses his metal arm to throw the remote into the vent. Clint slips back in quickly, like a turtle into its shell, but judging by the pained groan that echoes from above, Steve can safely assume it's hit its mark.

"Ow, fuck you too, Barnes! There will be arrows in places you can't even imagine for this, just you wait!" he calls, and slinks off.

"I'd like to see you try, Barton!" Bucky yells after him.

Steve bursts out laughing, and his beautiful, luxury car crashes miserably.

* * *

All of the Avengers, not to mention all of the world, thinks Steve and Bucky are, and have been for years, making wild, passionate, super soldier-enhanced love.

Bucky seems unhealthily amused by it. Steve has somehow come to his side. Natasha keeps telling them they should do something about it already.

Steve realises she's made it her new mission in life to do just that.

"Now I know why you wouldn't date all those girls I set you up with," Natasha tells him, as he eats his breakfast in the kitchen.

"You know it's all an act, right?" Steve asks, giving her a sceptical glance.

"Is it?" is all she replies.

She gets up and leaves, grabbing one of Thor's uneaten Pop-Tarts as she goes.

"That was actually kinda cryptic," Bucky says, looking after her retreating figure.

"Tell me about it," Steve sighs.

* * *

"Bucky has nice eyes, don't you think?" Natasha comes out with, the next day, at lunch this time.

"Sure, yeah," Steve mumbles, trying to enjoy his sandwich.

"And he has a well-shaped mouth, right? Pouty, nice colour, and such."

"Uh huh." Steve takes another bite of his sandwich, savouring the flavour of perfectly-cooked bacon.

"And you don't mind his metal arm, do you?"

"No, I don't," Steve snaps, defensively. "Where are you going with this exactly?"

"So, basically, you think he's pretty hot, am I wrong?" Natasha declares. She says it as if she's won something.

Steve blinks at her. "Anyone can see that, Nat." He takes another bite and chews, methodical.

They stare at each other for a while, Natasha's eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"So you wouldn't mind if I told him you think he's hot?" she eventually asks.

"If it makes him feel less self-conscious about the arm, then by all means." Steve shrugs. "He could use it."

Natasha looks at him, utterly dumbfounded, then her expression clears. "Unbelievable. You two are truly unbelievable."

"Like the blind leading the blind," Clint says, nonsensically, from a vent. Natasha doesn't seem surprised in the least to hear him, even though Steve jumps about ten feet in the air.

"Exactly!" Natasha agrees fervently. She raises her arms in the air, as if to say "I'm done!" and struts off.

"She's probably going to tell him," Clint points out.

"Okay." Steve shrugs again. "I said she could anyway."

* * *

"Natasha told me you said I was hot," Bucky says, as they're watching another Captain America-themed romance movie.

"Yep. That's about what I said."

"She also said that you don't mind the arm." Bucky's looking kind of suspicious at this point.

"Of course I don't mind your arm, Bucky. We've known each other for ninety years. Do you really think I'd care about your arm?" Steve levels him with a stern look, then smiles. "It's pretty cool, actually."

Bucky sits there, entirely confused.

"You're kind of perfect, aren't you?" he splutters, after a pause.

Steve's eyes widen.

"How do you feel about actually consummating this relationship?" Bucky asks.

"Are you asking us to fondue?" Steve tries to appear as innocent as possible. "We haven't even had our first date!"

"Oh my fucking god," they hear, from the vents above.

"Holy shit," comes Natasha's voice, clearly next to a certain bird above them. "Also, Clint, you owe me twenty dollars."

"Arrows, Barnes, in places you can't even imagine," Clint reminds. Then they shuffle away.

* * *

_FIN._


End file.
